Alien Phone Sex Invader Fantasy

alien phone sex invader abduction

My cunt enjoys exploring new types role-plays and that’s especially true with science fiction and the supernatural. Many of you have already experienced my many differences from mortal women – What if I told you that I’m an extraterrestrial alien phone sex invader from another planet? It’s true, I’m a high born alien queen from a far away world. I’ve finally escaped Area 51 due to some security mishaps during your global pandemic. Now I’m finally free to fulfill my original mission: evaluate human male seminal fluid. My mission was to carefully land on your planet, don a female human disguise, seduce a male of your species and secure a sample of his sperm specimen for evaluation.

Now you must be wondering why an Area 51 escapee and evil alien phone sex invader has an interest in your semen. Well, it’s to see if the human male is a viable mating option for my kind. The male of my species are becoming sterile at an increasing rate and we’re going to need a replacement to save the alien race. My mission was (and still is) to come to Earth, lure a man into having sex with my humanoid form and then save his ejaculate for my ship’s laboratory for experimentation. I crashed into earth because of the mess of space trash orbiting your planet. (Honestly, somebody really should clean all that debris up.) After the crash, myself and my ship’s technology was seized by your government…

My alien phone sex invasion mission is to evaluate human semen.

Without my ship’s technology, I’m left to my own devices. I’m just going to have to see if your human sperm can impregnate my alien phone sex invader cunt first hand. I can figure out a way to communicate with my mother ship later. When the time is right, I can relay back to my people if human sperm is suitable for reproduction. I hope for your sake and the sake of all humankind you will provide some use to us. If not and humans are completely useless, we’ll simply irradiate the entire planet you all call “Earth”. Now you must think I’m an evil alien phone sex invader. You filthy humans were well on your way to irradiating your own planet yourselves anyway. What did you expect? A nice alien abductor to come down and eat candy coated treats with you?

My humanoid form is quite attractive by human standards, but I wonder if your cock would remain stiff if you saw my true alien phone sex invader form. I find this human form amusing but very limiting. How do human women enjoy sexual intercourse without a long tail? The best way to extract all of the semen out of the males of my species, is to thrust your tail into their anus and massage a gland until it all just spurts out. Does it mating not work the same with humans? I’ve watched a few pornographic videos since I’ve been freed from my Area 51 imprisonment and saw a lot of strap-on pegging. I don’t need plastic props or tools in my alien form.

As an evil alien queen, I violate your ass and force your prostate to give me the specimen I need.

I’m curious to try extracting semen from a lucky human male in a variety of ways and I am certain your ass can accommodate my eager tail. I can even make it vibrate. Since you will be my very first (and possibly my last) human male – I may even develop a fondness for you. I could just keep you as my pet -even if your sperm is as garbage as the trash floating around in earth’s orbit. I could bring you back to my planet and keep you as my human slave. Hopefully you’ll be grateful that I kept you alive after we irradiate Earth. Wouldn’t it be nice to be the human pet of an evil alien phone sex invader? Think of all the fun your new Alien Queen would have abusing your human holes?

Coerced Bisexual Phone Sex

coerced bisexual phone sex forced bi fag

Many people have coerced bisexual phone sex desires, but not everyone admits to them. It turns me on when you turn down my encouragement. Sometimes people need to be pushed a little. That’s where I come in. I’m good at pushing you to try new things, to open up and explore. Or should I say open up and be explored! You look like you are ready for that during some forced bi phone sex. I love to bring over guys to the other side, more like I like pushing them over line to batting for the other team. laughs

We’ll have some drinks, loosen up and relax and watch some kinky porn. Something with some hot studs that will make your dick twitch. We can make out a little and I’ll tease you. I’ll stroke your cock while I’m kissing you. I’ll set the mood so that when my boyfriend comes home and finds us, you’ll be sitting naked on the couch with your cock in your hand. Kind of hard to get up and leave in that state. Not that you will really want to now will you. I don’t like to mess around or waste time playing games so as soon as he comes in, he’s going to join us on the couch.

After a little while you will succumb to having your holes used as my coerced bisexual phone sex fag.

He’s tall, muscular and has a long thick cock. I’ll kiss you while he takes your cock in his hand and strokes it. You’ll be harder than a rock in seconds. When my boyfriend strips down and you see his big cock jutting out in front of him you’ll be scared. laughs But I love forced bisexual phone sex and your resistance won’t ruin my good time. I’ll hold your head steady and he’ll slide his cock in your mouth. You can remain hesitant about it but not for long.

The more you whimper and struggle during forced bi phone sex, the wetter my pussy gets.

Between the two of us, my boyfriend and I will show you how to suck his cock real good. Good enough that he’s leaking pre cum and ready to pop. He’s not going to cum down your throat though. Not this time. He’s going to flip you over the couch and shove his cock right up your tight ass. No slow working it in kind of thing, this is going straight in, hard and deep. While you are reacting to the feeling of having your ass violated for the first time, I’ll suck your cock and rub my pussy while you squirm. When I feel you about to cum, I’ll make sure and point your cock up at your face. Blow your own load all over your face while my boyfriend goes off in your ass. And then tell me you didn’t fucking love it. laughs

Sissy Baby ABDL Phone Sex Mommy

He was a naughty sissy baby abdl phone sex faggot in a frilly dress and plastic panties. He needed mama to dress him and send him out into the world to be a slut. She was going to humiliate him and best of all, it was all for me. She was putting on a show for me and I loved it. I clapped when mama pushed him out of her room wearing a short pink frilly dress and a baby bonnet. She made him do a twirl so his skirt rose up. That’s when I saw his diapered bottom and plastic panties. Oh my god, he was an adult baby! A diaper lover even! For the first time I would see what adult baby diaper lover phone sex was all about. I couldn’t wait to get started.

sissy baby abdl phone sex mommy

First he had to tell me all about how he loved to wear a diaper. Loved to put on his little bonnet and then get pampered. Not like pampered in a spa but pampered as in, wearing a pair of pampers diapers. giggles A grown man transformed into a goo-goo gah-gah sissy baby ABDL phone sex slut. I told him to wiggle his bottom back and forth so his diaper make a crinkly sound. I called him little crinkle butt and told him to get on his hands and knees and crawl around like a baby with his butt in the air. He was so good at it that mama and I clapped and took pictures. He started to get fussy and mommy said it was time for some yum yuma.

Of course sissy baby ABDL phone sex infant liked that so he crawled over and climbed up in her lap, latching on to her tit and sucking down her milk.

That’s when she pulled up her shirt and squeezed her big titties. Of course sissy baby ABDL phone sex infant liked that so he crawled over and climbed up in her lap, latching on to her tit and sucking down her milk. She held him and rocked him while he suckled her boob. She put her hand between his legs and rubbed against his diaper, making that crinkle sound, this time getting faster and faster. He was making little happy noises and then shuddered and shook on her lap, still sucking her titties the whole time.

She took him off her boob and told him to lay down on the bed for a change. I laughed as he pulled his knees up to his chest and opened his legs. She took off his diaper and then wiped him off with a baby wipe before powdering his bottom. Then she told him she needed to take his “temperature” and he clapped and cooed while she lubed up the large dildo she pulled out. She out a fresh diaper on but this one had a hole over the bottom. Which made sliding that dildo up his ass really easy!

Mommy took baby’s rectal temperature for a long time, sliding it in and twisting it around, making her baby squirm and coo before she finally got him to say goo goo gaga…

Mommy took baby’s rectal temperature for a long time, sliding it in and twisting it around, making her baby squirm and coo before she finally got him to say goo goo gaga just as his “goo” filled up the front of his new diaper. I smiled when she told me that he had to clean up his diapers before she would put any more on him. If he was serious about sissy baby ABDL phone sex, then he would have to put his money where his mouth was.

Or rather, he’d have to lick those cummy diapers clean. He happily did and wanted to be changed over and over again. So mommy showed me how to change him. And I kind really liked it. I can’t wait to play with more adult babies and change your messy diapers. And of course make you mess your new ones over and over. Call and ask for Mommy Carla to have all your taboo adult baby age play fantasies fulfilled.

Cuckold Confessions Phone Sex

There’s nothing that blends emotional and psychological pain together with eroticism as well as cuckolding. Real cuckold confessions phone sex is in my top five favorite kinds of kinky adult chat. Sure, sometimes people call with fantasies and role-plays and I am keen to explore a wide variety of fantasies if there is at least a splash of humiliation involved. But there is nothing quite as arousing as hearing a man call up and confess that he desires to see his wife with another man. What would it be like for you if your wife was fucking your best friend, a neighborhood boy, the whole basketball team, strangers from a bar, etc?

cuckold confessions phone sex



I am very encouraging when it comes to cuckold phone sex. If you are just mulling over an erotic idea of your wife fucking someone else while you masturbate, I am going to encourage you to talk to her. Talk to her about having a more open relationship. Or talk to her about visiting swingers clubs. Or just let me talk to her. Yep, I mean it too. If you both call me together, I will have you guys make love at my instruction and then bring up some other fantasies I find hot…. like consensual cheating. Group sex may be a little too much soon, but eventually I will get you both there. You only live once, you know. Might as well have fun while we are all here, right? Don’t stuff your desires for being cucked deep down inside. 

I can help you sort through all those complicated jealous feelings you’ll have at the same time you’re aroused by cuckold confessions phone sex.

I can help you sort through all those complicated jealous feelings you’ll have at the same time you’re aroused by cuckold confessions phone sex. If you want to let your wife fuck a man with a bigger dick than you – like say, your braggadocious friend from work and at the same time you hate the idea of him fucking your woman. You just need some reminders about who your wife is and who you are. You’re the cuck and that’s perfectly acceptable. You’re a different kid of man than your stud work pal. Your wife will always love you, she just might also love how your work buddy fucks her. 

I especially love more experienced cuckolds. I like it when you call me while your wife is out with her boyfriend. Fuck, it’s like the best reality porn show to speculate with you about what is happening to your wife or girlfriend while we are talking. If you can all from a land line in case she wants to call you while she is getting pounded, my pussy would very much appreciate it. I hope she can at least sext you a few photos of her with his superior cock. I just love how the thought of your sharing your wife both hurts your ego and stiffens your cock at the exact same time. Don’t worry, baby. I get it. You can call me and confess to me all your deepest darkest secrets. And if it involves your humiliation followed by acceptance of your place in this world, you can bet your wife’s pussy that I am going to be encouraging. 

Sissy Cosplay Phone Sex

sissy cosplay phone sex

I’m in the Wonder Woman outfit again for Mistress Angelique and ready for sissy cosplay phone sex. He fucks me so goddamn hard when I wear this costume. Last time he left me covered in his jizz and just *so* sore. Who am I kidding though? I love being his slutty captive wonder sissy. I fucking love it. I love the way the iconic high heeled boots made my shimmery smooth pantyhose legs look even sexier than usual, the way they make my ass look so juicy and extra fuckable. I love the custom corset/bustier top that cinches my slim sissy waist into sexy sissy girl curves. And I absolutely love the way he fucks me after he gets me all tied up and helpless. When he starts choking me with the “magic lasso” while his cock pummels my sissy pussy, that’s when I usually start squirting my sissy cream everywhere.

We met on Fetlife, through Mistress Angelique. She encouraged me with sissy cosplay phone sex training and I was pretty new to the kink scene, new to online dating at all really. I was an inexperienced but super eager sissy, desperate for the attention of a real life person that knew what a bitch like me needed. The fact that he loved sexy cosplay was a big turn on for me, typical comic book geek. I met him at a hotel room the first few times. I was so nervous but I could hear Mistress Angelique’s voice ringing in my head. “You want to be a good sissy cocksucking fuck bunny don’t you?” And he seemed sane, he was clean and he smelled nice. 

He made me feel so hot, so sexy. I felt like more than a sissy cosplay phone sex slut.


He really seemed to like how I looked in pantyhose, leotards and, boots. He made me feel so hot, so sexy. I felt like more than a sissy cosplay phone sex slut. I loved how turned on he was by my body and my costumes. I had no idea how much I was gonna love getting fucked. Well, okay, that’s a lie, I had *some* idea, having recently discovered ass play with ‘realistic’ toys. But oh wow, did it ever feel amazing to be his bound, helpless sissy bitch, and have my little virginal sissy booty pounded for hours at a time.

I think back to the last meeting and shiver. If tonight is…anything like last time, I am in for some serious fun. Last time he had me wear headphones at Mistress Angelique’s instruction, that played layered, looped sissy hypnosis audio files of her voice. Then he tied me, face up, to a weight bench, with my head hanging, unsupported, over the edge. My legs were then put into a most delectable, utterly helpless frog-tie. The ring gag made it pretty clear what kind of treatment I was in for. He then proceeded to throat fuck me, somehow both brutally and tenderly. I don’t know how to explain it. I guess you need to be a sissy to understand. See, I had been practicing on my own with what I thought was a pretty thick eight inch “realistic” dildo. I had made my own eyes water gagging on it while I learned to take it’s entire length but, that did not, at all, prepare me for the sheer savagery of his throat fucking.

“Yeah, take it all bitch, take it all wonder whore!”

Through all my sputtering, slobbering, coughing and choking he would hiss, “Yeah, take it all bitch, take it all wonder whore!” or “Good slut, surrender yourself to my cock wonder slut.” Every now and then he would reach over and rub my cock in through my pantyhose, sending even more electric sensations through my already overstimulated body and I’d forget to breath through my nose and start to choke again and then he’d slap my cock really hard. 

The ring gag, of course, protected him from any of my involuntary jaw clenching due to the slaps. I’m pretty sure that the thing that really broke me for good was when he finally started to come. He grabbed my cock and started to squeeze, super hard, and then also started roughly jacking me off in my hose, while he used the other hand to slap my balls, all the while grunting and pumping cum down my throat. Me just choking and writhing and crying and, finally, orgasming helplessly into his fucking vice grip of a fist. When he finally pulled his cock from my throat, he wiped it all over my face. I wanted more. Needed more. I need him to fuck my sissy pussy, to make me his cosplay fuck bunny cock slave.

Thank you Mistress Angelique. You knew just what I needed, I am so glad I called you.

Teacher Student Phone Sex

You might think I’m focused on my notes when I’m giving a teacher student phone sex lecture, but I’ve taught this class a dozen times and I can recite the whole semester while juggling. You might think I’m concentrating on leading a discussion about the reading, but my mind – and my eye – are on other things. I’m studying the talent in the room. Do you think you might have what it take to be a promising, up-and-coming young scholar?

teacher student phone sex

There’s just something so refreshing about taking a handsome young man and wrapping him around my finger while I wrap my legs around his hips and hold him tight. Every semester brings a new crop of potential recruits, and I take my teacher student phone sex selection very seriously. Multiple candidates need to be tested in a variety of conditions to see who best rises to the occasion.

Maybe you wondered if you were imagining it when I held your gaze when I called on you to answer a question. Maybe you can’t stop thinking about the way I leaned in to talk to you about your paper after class. Maybe you’re wondering if you should come to my office hours and see whether there’s anything you should be doing to help your grade.

The answer is yes.

Mrs. Tamra has so many things to teach you in private, especially about her teacher student phone sex expectations.

Yes, I’ve got my eye on you, and yes, I wanted you to notice my shape and my scent when I got really close, and yes, I want you to let me know you’re looking for additional instruction. I have so many things to teach you in private, especially about my secret teacher student phone sex desires. The truth is, it’s hard to find men my age who can give me what I need. So many of them never found the right teacher to begin with, and even the ones who did acquire serious skills are running out of steam physically. It’s just easier to snap up some fresh meat with the stamina I need and teach them exactly how to please me.

I enjoy cuckolding my husband with my young students.

So I scrutinize my classes carefully, looking for young men with just the right attributes to really benefit from my teacher student phone sex instruction. I know you jerk off thinking about having your way with me right there on my desk. I know you think about me when you’re with your girlfriend just like I think about my students when I’m with my husband. I know you’re curious about what it’s really like with an experienced woman like me. Well, you have to be curious to be taught, and I’m a born teacher. Do you think you could be first in class?

Call me and let’s find out.

Remote Control Male Chastity Phone Sex

Have you all heard of that delightful new Cell Mate chastity device? Well you’re in luck because remote control male chastity phone sex is exactly what I am hear to talk about today. What a delightful addition to the remote control toy family. I have a lot of experience playing with slaves and sissies with a variety of different Lovense remote controlled toys. I will tell you that as a Mistress, being able to control my submissive playmates from a distance is quite delightful. Nothing pleases me more than cranking up your vibrating butt plug to eleven or forcing your prostate milker to squeeze so much cum out of you, that you need replenish electrolytes.

remote control male chastity phone sex keyholding mistress

Well, think of how wet I will be when I have the Super Villain Power of locking your cock from across the country! I’m already wet thinking about the remote control male chastity phone sex tease and denial I can have with you. How does it work? Easy. All your Mistress needs is a mobile device (tablet, phone, or computer)and your cock can be locked from anywhere. I’ll need to watch you place the cock cage on camera to make sure the device is on correctly. Voila! You’re all locked up safe and sound. Your pesky cock can’t get you into any trouble unless I, your beautiful keyholding Mistress, allow it.

You surrender to being my remote control male chastity phone sex slave. You’ll have to do whatever I demand to earn your freedom.

Just think about that for a moment…. You surrender to being my remote control male chastity phone sex slave. You’ll have to do whatever I demand to earn your freedom. I’m fairly certain I can train you to be the perfect denied slave. You’ll be so easy to train once you lose access to your own penis while I hold all the control. Think of how malleable you’ll be for me. I can mold you into exactly what I want you to be.

How long do you think it would take before you promised me the sun, moon, and stars in order for me to release you? Would you beg? What would you be willing to do for your Mistress? How would you humiliate yourself? What would you hand over to me? Would you be willing to go dark places for your secret keyholding Goddess? And how long would you last when I finally released you? Could you handle it if I locked you right back up again?

I have so many questions…. the only way to get answers is for me to collect the data from my chastity keyholding test subjects themselves. I’m just itching to find out how you can handle a remote control male chastity phone sex keyholding Mistress like me.

Access denied.

Racial Humiliation Phone Sex with Aryan Mistress

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. Sex is complicated sometimes, but many enjoy at least a modest amount of pain mixed in with all that pleasure. Have you ever entertained the idea of race play or racial humiliation phone sex for some extra fun in the bedroom? If you find the idea of racially themed fantasies sexy, it’s nothing to be ashamed about. We’re all products of society. Sure, it’s taboo but many kinks are controversial – all the fun ones are anyway. I find that race play can be quite thrilling for both parties. As long as it’s between two consenting adults, what’s the harm in exploring? And if you know me, you know that I like delivering explosive orgasms while talking about some truly taboo topics. I’m just the sinful siren to play the role of an evil and entitled white bitch.

racial humiliation phone sex race play with white aryan mistress
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,
Just like the ones we used to know
Where all the tree tops glisten
And all the slaves listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow, oh, the snow

When you look at me, you see pristine white superiority don’t you? So yes, a bright white Christmas is exactly what we need! You don’t have to be shy about your secret desires for racial humiliation phone sex. Look at my pale skin, blue-green eyes, and blonde hair and tell me it doesn’t make you keenly aware of your own inferiority. Exactly. I look just like the perfect Aryan mistress of the white master race, don’t I? It’s only natural to want to submit to me. It should not surprise you that race play is also exciting to me too. I’m not ashamed to admit it. It adds a very enticing power dynamic to my control over you that I find electrifying. Is it too humiliating to admit that you desire an evil member of the superior white race to control and humiliate you with race play? You’ve just stumbled across a playful and privileged white bitch to drop to your knees before.

As your race play Aryan Goddess, I would be happy to remind you what’s right about being white during racial humiliation phone sex.

As your race play Aryan Goddess I would be happy to remind you what’s right about being white during racial humiliation phone sex. It’s not your fault your own inferiority is written all over you. Some of us are pure and others are unclean. I think it’s time to ask yourself what kind of racial humiliation phone sex and race play you are looking for. Would you prefer your white Dominatrix was soft and seductive with her racist remarks? Or would you prefer she be loud and proud while rubbing your nose in it? The choice is yours – no matter what way we slice it, you’ll be weak for me. It’s too much to resist the powerful allure of white women – too much to resist pristine milky skin, bright eyes, and perfect pink pussies. Don’t you want me to own you?

I’m not shy about speaking some very hard truths to you. In fact, there are things I will say on the phone that I can’t list here. It would serve you well not to struggle and just practice a little acceptance. Allow me to remind you where you belong: beneath your superior white Goddess. If you want to be my filthy and lesser slave, I know exactly what to do with you during racial humiliation phone sex call. I’ll enjoy hearing your whimpers and desperate moans of pleasure while I put you back in your place. Admit it – you want to know what it would be like to explore the more taboo side of humiliation with a snow white Mistress. All you have to do is dial the number above and ask for Janelle.

Happy Holidays!

Interracial Phone Sex Monster BBC

interracial phone sex latina

After a breakup most girls need a change. Some alter their hair style. Others splurge on an expensive new handbag. Many treat themselves to a fancy dinners. A little retail therapy goes a long way. These are all lovely ideas after a break up but it’s missing one very important element: To get over a man, you have to get under another. I like to get under an entirely different kind of man with interracial phone sex. No more white wimps with tiny pink dicks for me. I needed something different; A Latin Lover or a Black Bull.

Oh yes, after my breakup I desperately wanted a change and I went after it. In order to have the best possible post-break up sex, I knew I wanted all of the things that women normally want after exiting a boring relationship. First I got on a dating app with lots of sexy interracial phone sex studs in my area. I swiped like a mad woman on all the muscular hotties. I super swiped the ones that had visible cock bulges. Yum! Then I went to the hair salon and got a cute new style. I spent the rest of the afternoon at the spa getting a fresh manicure, facial, and bikini wax. Then I met my girlfriends for sushi and went on a shopping spree. 

My best friends were excitedly helping me pick out the sexiest lingerie for my interracial phone sex rebound…

My best friends were excitedly helping me pick out the sexiest lingerie for my interracial phone sex rebound when it happened. Oh my… I matched with this gorgeous black GOD of a man. He was tall, with a perfect smile and a very muscular build. I knew that this was the man to help me get over my ex. We chatted for a little bit and I swooned. He was already sexier, funnier, and more charming than my bland ex. I knew that this new interracial phone sex guy was the man I wanted to be the sexiest little slut for. 

I told him that I was just getting out of a relationship and that I hadn’t been properly fucked in over a year. He needed to know that my wimp of an ex was absolute trash in the bedroom and that if he wanted to use my hot under-sexed body, he could. I desperately needed to be fucked by a man that knew how to handle a slut so I sexted him a photo of my tits in the lingerie right from the fitting room! He responded with “Don’t worry, baby girl. I will handle you if you can handle this…” Then a photo of his stiffening cock in his black boxer briefs came through. It was HUGE! In that moment both my mouth and my pussy were drooling. I knew that I needed to get this lingerie off me before I ruined it for later! I invited my interracial phone sex match over to my place that evening. Then I hurried home to get ready to put on that very same sexy red lingerie. 

I opened and there he was looking even more perfect than in his photos. I stared at him in my black lingerie in awe for a brief moment.

I nervously reapplied my red lipstick for the hundredth time. Then I began puttering about in my high heels when there was a knock at the door. I opened and there he was looking even more perfect than in his photos. I stared at him in my black lingerie in awe for a brief moment. Then I welcomed him inside and shut the door. He looked me up and down and smiled before hooking his hand around my waist and pulling me up against his already hard cock. I kissed him while he mauled my tits. Squeezing them and inspecting them. Yes, this is exactly what I needed….

It had been a year wasted with my wimpy white ex. A whole year of being deprived of quality sex. My mouth was desperate to suck his big black cock and I needed him now! I lifted up his shirt and kissed down his muscular chest as I dropped to my knees. I smiled and used my tongue to trace trails through the muscles in his six pack. Moaning softly between kisses and licks. When I got to the waist band of his pants, his huge cock was practically ready to burst the button off. I caressed his monster bbc cock through his pants and carefully unzipped. My eyes widened and he smiled smugly. Now this was the kind of cocky man I loved. A man that delivers. A real man. It felt like I had delicately unwrapped a present to release a monster. And that’s exactly what it was: a monster bbc. A gorgeous eleven inch masterpiece of a black cock complete with a fat mushroom head and delicious veins.

What would happen if I FaceTimed my ex boyfriend so he could watch me with my new black lover? It would be such a turn on to humiliate him like this! Call me for all kinds of interracial phone sex talk. 

Cuckold Phone Sex Humiliation

When someone calls with that certain quiver in his voice, I know exactly what he wants to talk about. It’s getting more and more common, so don’t worry that it’s just you. The inadequacy that leads to cuckold phone sex humiliation, isn’t your special secret unique burden to bear. The evidence is all around us, clearer than ever: Some men have what it takes to please women, and the rest don’t. And you’ve started to figure out which category you belong in. And you need to talk about it.

You can’t talk to your friends about cuckold phone sex. That’s just impossibly embarrassing.

And you can’t talk to your wife or girlfriend, because you already know one of two things is going to happen: Either she tells you not to be silly, not to worry, she loves making love with you … but you won’t really believe her … or she does tell you that actually, yes, you leave something to be desired. And you know what? That’s what you really want, you want her to tell you that she’s wanting, because then everything will be perfectly clear and understood. But it’s too frightening! It’s too real. I understand. You can talk to me about cuckold phone sex humiliation instead.

I’ll tell you the truth. I’ll tell you truths she’d never tell you. It’s easy for me to figure out exactly who you are, and let me tell you right now who you aren’t: a man. A real man. A man who can please a woman, who can keep a woman, who can make a woman want to please him in return. That’s not you. It never was, it never will be, and the sooner you accept that the happier everyone will be.

It’s really a public service I’m providing. You’ll be happier once you accept your limitations and stop letting unrealistic ideas pollute your relationships. And every woman you talk to will be happier once you stop thinking you can offer them something you absolutely cannot. Once you start talking to me everything will become clear. You’re meant for a life of cuckold phone sex stories and that’s it. I can tell you exactly what women need to please them, and I can tell you all about the qualities that real men have. And you’ll completely understand that I’m describing something you aren’t, never were, never could be. You’re something else. It’s not your fault. Just let me help you understand.